


Of Cats and Dogs

by Rika_Hatsuya



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen, cats and dogs, domestic AU, no sburb, sugar sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rika_Hatsuya/pseuds/Rika_Hatsuya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started because Dave brought home another cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Cats and Dogs

**Author's Note:**

> A friend and I were contemplating what would domestic Dave and Jade be like? And then they mentioned their cat and I told them dogs were better. THIS is what happened. (It's mostly dialogue) Enjoy. ^-^

Of Cats and Dogs

 

“What is that?”

“It’s a cat. A chill as hell cat.”

Jade takes a moment to look the new meowing nuisance over. It was a small short haired cat, sandy blonde like the Strider that held it in his arms. “I see that it’s a cat; I am asking why is it being let into our home?”

Dave set the cat down to cross his arms. “Well maybe because cats are cool and chill as hell.”

There was a beat of silence as said feline scampered into the next room leaving the two of them to resolve this on their own.

“Dave your arms are scratched up from carrying that thing, and we don’t need another cat.”

“No, you don’t understand. Cats are great. I like cats. Cats are my babies.”

Rolling her eyes Jade lets out a sigh. “No. Cats are terrible and dogs are great. We don’t need another cat.”

Dave stands firm in the doorway; keeping his arms crossed. “Jade, cat hair is lonely people glitter. I am so lonely all the time. I need this cat.”

“No, we already have Bec, why do we need a cat? This is the second cat you’ve tried to bring home. I already explained that DOGS are man’s best friend.”

“And you didn’t let me keep Sprinkles. I need Max. Max is great. He’s a cool cat. Trust me.”

“OMG. Nooooo. Dogs are super loyal! Can your new cat fetch things? Like tools and plans? I think not. Dogs are great.”

“Cats are chill as fuck. They keep your face warm while you sleep. Your devil beast can’t do that.”

“Bec is not a devil beast! And he most certainly doesn’t try to suffocate me while I sleep! Your cat will just take up cuddle space!”

“No way. You gotta learn to work around the cat and then they become the best pet. End of story.”

“But dogs are trainable, they are loyal, and will love you forever.” Jade shifts and rests a hand on her hip. “And they don’t shred the curtains.”

A single blonde eyebrow raises over the rim of his sunglasses. “Whoa there Harley. You can train cats too. I used to have a cat that every time I coughed it would go scratch Bro’s leg. If that ain’t skill I don’t know what is.”

“That is not practical in the least!”

“But efficient it was.”

“OMG Dave. No. Bad Dave. No Yoda thingies!!”

Dave rests his back against the door frame. “Why you gotta hate on Yoda?”

“Dogs can protect you from dangerous things! And they can go outside on walks with you!!”

“So can cats! …kind of. They know to run if shit is gonna happen.”

“But dogs will ACTIVELY get you out of bad situations and protect you when you’re down!”

“Cats are still cooler and much more chill, PLUS they’ll chase a laser light right into a wall.”

Jade sighs and rolls her eyes. “So cats aren’t smart or helpful. Dogs are just better. They cuddle and protect. Best combo.” She crosses her arms and stares Dave down.

“Nah. Cats lay on you and purr and like ear scratches and will sit on your shoulders when you’re laying down a sick beat and don’t bark at 3 AM.”

“Not all dogs bark Dave, and 3 AM is not a time for beats, it’s a time for cuddles in bed.”

“Any time can be beats time.”

“Fine! Go cuddle a cat because you’re being dumb! Dogs are great.” She puffs out her cheeks a little as she pouts; turning her gaze from Dave.

“Cats are cool like me and give the best cuddles.” Dave straightens his stance.

“But dogs can go anywhere with you and NOT be in the way! You are a big dumb!!”

“Cats aren’t in the way, humans are in their way. And I am not a big dumb you take that scandalous word back.”

“You are a big dumb in the way!!”

“Ouch. My heart. Jade that cut me deep.” Dave shifts one hand to cover his heart in mock hurt. “Could bring a tear to my eye.”

Jade sticks out her tongue. “Dogs are better.”

“Cats are cooler.”

“Dogs are the best!” Pouting she turns away from Dave and mumbles, “You are not getting any cuddles you big dumb.”

“Cats are chill as hell though,” he says as he leans towards Jade. “What was that?”

Turning around in a quick spin she blurts out, “GOOD DOG, BEST FRIEND!”

Dave blinks at Jade in shock.

“Dogs keep you warm and are loyal and are great because they will protect you and you can RELY on them!!”

“Well cats don’t beg when you have food!”

“Dogs only do that if you don’t train them!”

“It don’t matter how much ya train a dog, it’ll still give you those eyes that just scream ‘please drop that piece of chicken’ and you know it.”

“But even if you don’t it won’t claw up your pillow later.”

“Hey! Cats don’t claw your pillow for not sharing food. It doesn’t ever claw your pillow except to make it more comfy to sleep on.”

“Which is ridiculous!!! This is why your last cat had to go!”

“It just wasn’t soft enough. Don’t blame Sprinkles.”

“Dave! We buy super soft pillows!”

“Because I like softness. And so do cats.”

“Then why do they still claw them up if they’re already soft?!”

“Because they aren’t soft enough. They’re never soft enough.”

“By that logic you don’t need pillows because they will never satisfy you.”

Their voices are starting to echo in the room.

“But I do need pillows because the mattress is too flat.”

“Grrr… Dave Elizabeth Strider, you are just trying to pick a fight now.” She places both hands on her hips and narrows her eyes.

“Oh shit, middle name. I am in trouble.” His voice drips sarcasm.

“Gosh darn right you are in trouble!!! You just think about your stupid cat and I’ll take my awesome dog on a trip! Then we can both be happy!” She turns to go get her hiking backpack.

“Whoa there.” He reaches out and grabs her arm. “Alright how about we agree to disagree? Both pets are great in their own things. Dogs at protecting and cats at being chill as fuck.”

“And Dave is a big dummy head.” She turns to look him straight in the eyes. Those sunglasses long since lost their ability to hide his eyes.

“I take mild offense to that, but I’ll agree if you admit my ass is fab even though I’m a dummy.”

“Pffffft!! OMG.” Jade can’t stop the smile that is creeping on to her face, even though moments ago she was boiling mad. “You are a big dork too.” Her smile is wide and all teeth. “Of course you got the booty.”

Dave’s lips twitch upwards. “Damn straight I do.”

“Pft. Dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m YOUR dork.”

She giggles. “As long as you accept that.”

“Of course I do. I am a dork. There ain’t any shame in it.”

“Hee hee!”

“Come on, let’s go put this all behind us and cuddle on the sofa.” He waggles his eyebrows at her causing her to giggle and laugh more.


End file.
